


First Steps, Last Wishes

by navaan



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Community: fan_flashworks, Dysfunctional Family, Gen, Male-Female Friendship, Missing Scene, Parent-Child Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-16
Updated: 2016-09-16
Packaged: 2018-08-15 09:22:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8050867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/navaan/pseuds/navaan
Summary: Howard Stark looks at Tony and sees a better version of himself. But with all he’s seen and done over the years, he can’t help but be a afraid of his own legacy.





	First Steps, Last Wishes

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Fan_Flashworks prompt steps

“He’s amazing,” Peggy say and fondly smiles down at the picture. Her lipstick as always is a perfect, sharp red and her eyes are twinkling with both adoration and amusement. Howard knows that the adoration is all for little baby Anthony and the amusement is all for him, who has finally settled down and taken the first step into the adventure of being a father. “Never knew you had it in you to create something truly perfect,” she joked.

Part of him had envied her for managing to build a happy family in the middle of all the danger and despite the complication of being a spy; not just any spy anymore either, as she’s the head of SHIELD now.

He doesn’t smile. He doesn’t want to encourage Peggy’s teasing. But he’s proud.

“Maria must be so happy. Perfect little baby boy.”

“We both are.”

He takes the picture of his wife and son. It feels strange to suddenly be responsible for the life of a little human being that he helped bring into the world.

“If he’s anything like you he’s get into trouble before he can walk.”

Although the thought sends a tiny spike of excited panic up his spine, he laughs. He can’t wait for the next stage of this adventure.

* * *

What he isn’t at all prepared for is the fear. He watches Maria play with Tony and wishes he could keep all harm away from his little family. For the first few month he makes sure someone is around to take a picture of every special moment so he’ll be able to remember the peaceful beginning at every stage of his life. Maria keeps her favorite of the pictures on her night table. It’s the one of him lying on the floor on a blanket while Tony is busy stacking little wooden blocks in front of him. Jarvis took it while Howard had been distracted.

He wants to believe it can go on like this forever.

But the world keeps on turning and it keeps being a scary place.

So by the time Tony is nearly three years old, Howard ends up watching his wife and son play together in the garden from the window of his office more often than he joins in.

It’s for the best. The work to keep the world safe has to be done. For Tony’s sake as much as anyone’s.

* * *

“Tony is a little wonder,” he says when Peggy asks after his family and he hopes he doesn’t sound nervous or like he disapproves. He doesn’t. He’s proud.

His little boy is already building things that other youths twice his age won’t ever even develop an interest for. He’s particularly taken with robots and loves to dismantle anything that moves. Maria fondly called him a little menace just this morning, because he’d cleanly and very methodically taken apart a toaster.

“You say that like he’s something to be afraid of,” Peggy tells him absentmindedly. She is still sifting through the pictures of the Red Room facility SHIELD had dismantled just this morning. Children were still trained to be soldiers and killers. That’s why he’s worried. Imagine the use a dark world like that would have for a little genius.

“Sometimes he does scare me,” Howard admits.

Peggy laughs. “Parents. We’re always dramatic. God, the things my rascals did that age, it could scare me to death.”

He doesn’t feel it, but smiles. “He’s just so smart.” 

This time his old friend looks up and regards him carefully. “Does it worry you? That he’s smart? Smarter than you?”

His throat goes dry suddenly. He swallows, tries to clear it. It’s not the slight disapproval that gets to him. “You know what happens when I let science run away with me. He’s just a little boy and he’s already building things out of everything he can get his hands on.” His voice falters. He has tried to explain to Maria, but she doesn’t know about the things he worked on during the war, during what came after. They met years later.

But Peggy… Peggy understands.

“He’s your son, Howard. Nobody said, it would be easy.”

He laughs. “Nothing ever is.”

Somehow it makes him feel a little lighter.

* * *

Tony grows up fast and Howard still watches him worriedly. There is much of him in his son, but there are some character traits there he completely fails to understand. What he sees is the danger. “He’s naive,” Howard grouses, but his wife looks at him sternly.

“He wants your attention, because god knows these days it’s hard enough for him to even get a nice word out of you.” They have been fighting about this whenever Tony is home, which he isn’t that often since his Wunderkind son was accepted by MIT and spends his time living in dorm rooms now.

“He’s getting too much attention as it is.” The media attention had served a purpose when Tony was small, but Howard in his own vanity has failed to see that growing up at the center of that kind of interest might not be beneficial for his son. As always Maria seems to be right about these things.

“There was _one_ unsolicited interview, Howard. Don’t take it as the reason to start another fight. You’re too hard on him. He’s smart, but he’s also just a kid, trying to navigate the world of grown-ups he feels aren’t always as smart as they should be.”

“I’m hard on him, because I want to protect him.” It’s at least half the truth. He’s seen his son’s genius and he knows how far Tony could one day go. But Howard has seen the world. Tony has seen nothing. He doesn’t know war, although once he liked to listened to Howard’s stories of evil Nazis and the good Captain America; he doesn’t know the evils of science like Howard does; doesn’t know that his safe little world is threatened every day and that one day he might be the one smart enough to destroy it. Tony only knows the wonders, the thrill of discovery and solving.

“Perhaps you should show him that more often,” his wife suggests and kisses his cheek.

* * *

Tony comes home from MIT. Howard wants to talk to him about one particular paper, Howard wishes Tony had shown him before having a professor publish it. It’s brilliant. It’s the kind of brilliance that can lead to even more brilliance, but not if you let your competitors use it against you. It takes less than two hours for them to have an argument about something completely different, because they can’t seem to be in the same room for longer than a minute without butting heads. Howard is nervous. After all these years he’s finally close to finding the formula to the supersoldier serum and he isn’t sure anymore if that’s a good thing.

He spends the rest of the day working, avoiding both son and wife. It’s the middle of the night when he goes down to the garage, thinking of just driving back to Stark Industries and getting some things done there. He has some idea for the new contract and it’s not like he will be missed here. But Tony is down there, taking apart the Mercedes in just the same methodical fashion he’s been cultivating since childhood.

Instead of alerting the boy - god, young man really - to his presence he leans there quietly in the doorway and watches. He often doesn’t get to see it: The focused looks, the brilliant mind inside the rebellious head at work, the way Tony bites his lip when he ponders a problem, the loving way he touches every part before he puts it down. For a while now he has known that Tony will surpass him and the thought still fills him with pride.

There’s no fear in Tony, because he hasn’t seen the kinds of things Howard has seen.

Perhaps that’s dangerous.

Perhaps it’s better that way.

He watches his son work and then leaves as silently as he has come. Jarvis is still busy in the kitchen ad Howard can read his worried expression just right. “Make him a sandwich before he falls over,” he says roughly and vanishes up the stairs without another word.

* * *

“Make a note in his file,” Howard tells Peggy tensely. “Make a note. Nobody is to recruit or approach him unless there isn’t any other option left. Let him be a peacetime engineer. Let him have a life outside of all this.” He waves his hand at the SHIELD emblem behind her desk. “Let him find his own way.”

“All right, Howard,” she says and the simple acknowledgement might just as well be a promise.

It gives him a little peace of mind, as he goes back to his research. He’s bad at showing his feelings. He’s even worse at saying: “I’m proud of you.” But he can do this much. Can’t he? One day Tony might find out about SHIELD and his work and the dangers borne by his own brilliance. He’s the one truly good thing Howard has to leave to this world. He doesn’t want him touched by the darkness of it all.

Not of he can help it.

One day Tony will be older and they’ll share a scotch as Howard tells him about this moment. He’s sure a man will understand what is now confusing the boy. 

But until that time comes, Howard will take every step necessary to protect him.

Because that’s what fathers do.

“Note made,” Peggy says.

“Good. I’ll bring the serum to the facility tomorrow. Make sure it stays safe.”

“I will. I promise.”

He gets up, ready to go home. He’ll feel so much better when the blue stuff is out of his own lab. “Thank you, Peggy.” A burden has been lifted. Tony can just be a smart boy for a while longer.


End file.
